Is there room for you in your idea of God? The problem for most of us when relating to the Divine in any way, is that we view Divinity through the eyes of the ego. And then we project that ego onto Deity and believe we have an idea of how God sees us. We think that whatever we view our flaws and sins and shortcomings to be are what the Divine already knows about us. We think whatever it is we believe we should be doing is what the Divine is expecting of us. Take a closer look at your idea of Divine love and be sure that it is not a fabricated torture chamber, where God is like a giant ego, standing over you watching your every move, judging whether or not you are worthy.
In my work and along my journey, the thought of God became so painful, that I began healing my emotional wounds well before I was able to entertain any thoughts about God again. As my heart healed, the Divine became more and more apparent, first as something outside myself; but as love deepened, we began to merge. I found a beautiful sense of safety in this merging. Let me share this experience with you . . .
Here’s an exercise that I would like for you to try. Some will find this easy, others not so much. It will require that you use your imagination. Find for yourself a quiet space internally and externally and meditate on your breath for a minute, engaging all 5 senses in the present moment, so that you come to rest. I want you to picture God being a greater version of you, except this one quality: God is free of any judgments against you. Imagine this God to be delighted with you and fascinated by you down to the very last detail. All of your ideas, your desires, your treasures—God is cheering them on. If you are female, guess what, so is She. And she is very excited to do this life as you, because you’re wonderful. You are the very expression of the Divine in physical form. What you consider your flaws and mistakes to be, are the mere fumblings of a toddler to this Deity. You’re adorable. She is 100 percent on your side, and interested in taking life in the direction that you’ve been dreaming of going. Take several minutes, or as long as feels good, to stay with this experience and see where it takes you.
How did this exercise feel to you? If it feels easy and wonderful, you’re lucky. More than likely, the concept of ‘God’ has not been ruined for you, and you are ready to surrender your worthy self into very loving arms.
If this exercise felt bad or difficult to you then more than likely, either ‘God’ has become an unpleasant or threatening idea for you or you can’t possibly imagine any version of you being good enough to satisfy your human needs, or some version of both. For some people too, removing separation between themselves and the Divine is like blasphemy, inspiring fear.
HOW TO PROCEED FROM HERE
Whether you were in the first group or the second group, your next step is the same. Surrender to the longing of the Divine to perfect Love in your heart, mind and entire being. Say to the Divine, “I am available.” and mean it. Part of surrender is expectation. There is nothing phony involved in this process, because YOU don’t have to make anything happen; so don’t try to. Truly make an opening in your heart and expect that some time today, tomorrow or maybe later this week, an awakening you’ve initiated is going to be felt in some capacity. Perhaps you are going to spontaneously find yourself capable of letting in more Divine love. Perhaps your thoughts will reconfigure to allow for an intimacy with Divine presence that you never thought possible. Perhaps an unusual blessing will signify Divine love manifesting. Whatever form it may take, allow yourself to fully feel the expectation, as if someone you trust had promised it to you, and then completely let it go.
WHAT IF I HAVE DOUBTS?
It’s okay if you have doubts. It’s okay if you feel silly or to feel like any breakthrough in this area is completely impossible. Confess that to the Divine within you and trust that allowances will be made; because, in truth, the doubts of ego are no match for the presence of the Divine. We believe that the ego is powerful, which is why we’re afraid. We believe these thoughts have power over us. Thankfully, we are appealing to a much higher authority than the doubting, fearful mind. So let the ego stand by and watch, while you offer your heart in surrender to the emergence of that which has been trying to break through all along. In this way, you will begin to develop a trusting relationship with the Divine that is based on EXPERIENCE. Having a sense of adventure will help you in this process.
SUPPORT FOR YOUR AWAKEING
I hope this has been helpful to you. If you would like assistance with opening and surrendering to Divine love, I am here to help you. You may contact me if you have any questions. To schedule a session with me, look under the “Services” tab above or click on the offering below.
Peace to you on your magical journey!